I have a confession to make. Despite my professed love of the Leprechaun, I have never actually seen the entire opus that is Leprechaun 4: Leprechaun in Space. You need to know that to understand the rest of this entry.

Tonight The Boy and I went to a party - or a "gathering," as he put it - of his friends from the programs council or whatever Working-for-the-Man thing they do. There were a grand total of four other people there other than our lovely selves, but they were all precious jewels of humanity so it was ok. Correction: they weren't quite precious jewels of humanity, but one of them smoked, so I was able to sneak out for a Marlboro under the guise of being sociable. That's good enough for me.

What kept The Boy and his friends from being princes among men (or princesses among women, I suppose) is the following heinous act. We were busily trying to occupy ourselves with card games and alcohol, when what should flash on the TV but one of those signs informing you that you are about to watch a heavily edited Superstation movie. I laughed, oh had I only known what was coming next.

The credits rolled. I saw that this movie starred Warwick Davis. Suddenly my heart leapt into my throat. Either this was Leprechaun or Willow. And I doubted that Willow was a choice midnight movie.

Then I saw it. It was like finding the holy grail. It was Leprechaun 4: Leprechaun in Space!!!!! I give you the tacky extra exclamation points so you can understand the volume of my scream when I saw the title.

"Oh my God it's Leprechaun in SPACE!!!!"

You need more exclamation points to understand my ecstasy, so I'm giving them to you. I had never seen the whole movie, just the part where the Space Marine pees on the Leprechaun's corpse. So you can imagine my excitement, knowing that I was about to see this celluloid gem in its entirety.

Then, tragedy struck. Nobody else wanted to watch Leprechaun 4: Leprechaun in Space. They all wanted to play the card game Asshole instead.

Asshole - Leprechaun in Space. Asshole - Leprechaun in Space.

I'd say any reasonable human being would choose Leprechaun in Space!

Unfortunately, I was stuck with madmen and fools, of the Lep-hata variety. So I only got to watch up to the point where the Leprechaun hits on his golden space princess by turning her food into plastic jewelery. Then, we played Asshole.

The Boy said, "We can rent Leprechaun 4 later." I don't know, man. In this life, you gotta take the Leprechaun where you find it, cause you don't know if you're going to get a second chance.